Putting safety strategies in place when you still live together
For all sorts of reasons, you may not be able to leave your partner or the accommodation you share.…
There is no justification for abuse. Abusive partners have often experienced trauma that they have left untreated. But this trauma never justifies the abuse they inflict on others. Unfortunately, they are rarely capable of change, even though they promise they will.
Verified by Assoc. Prof. Andreea Gruev-Vintila on 17/11/2023
Recent studies show that the majority of abusive partners are motivated by a desire for control, sometimes a deep fear of abandonment, insecurity, anger over feeling humiliated, and resentment. But their desires and fears never justify the violence they inflict on others.
Abusive partners believe that their own feelings and needs should be prioritised in the relationship.
They act in their own self interest to the detriment of their partner to obtain:
Still not well known in France, the concept of coercive control is internationally recognised as the best way to understand domestic abuse.
Coercive control is defined as an intentional act or pattern of controlling, constraining or threatening behaviour used by an individual against their partner or ex-partner with the aim of making them dependent, subordinate and/or depriving them of their freedom of action.
Perpetrators may intimidate, humiliate, monitor, manipulate or even isolate their partner to exercise power and control. Their abuse can take many different forms.
There is no justification for abuse. You are not responsible for the abuse you experience.
Many people who have experienced abuse directly or indirectly choose not to repeat the experience and get treatment. Abusive partners choose the way they behave.
Unfortunately, they are rarely capable of change, even though they promise they will.
Expert professionals and services can support you on your way to safety and independence.
In France, there are many services that can support you, give you advice, and assist you with procedures and paperwork. Most of them are free of charge.
This telephone counselling service is intended for people facing all types of violence and those who support them.
The “Centres d'Information sur les Droits des Femmes et des Familles (CIDFF) ” helps the general public, especially women, in many areas such as: legal rights, health, employment searches, training, business creation, and even childcare.
“Associations” are organisations that offer a range of services.
While the utmost care has gone into providing you with the most accurate and up to date information, this page is not intended to replace legal or professional advice. Laws and procedures change regularly so it is important to consult qualified professionals.
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