Know what to do if you witness domestic abuse

It can be very difficult to know what to say and what to do when you witness abuse, to the point where it can be tempting to ignore it. But it is absolutely crucial to be there for the victim. 

By doing the following, you could save their life:

• Listen to them, believe them, support them. Ask them if they are OK and if there is anything you can do for them.
• Reassure them that there are solutions to regain their safety and independence. 
• Explain that the only person responsible for the abuse is the perpetrator.
• Advise them to call the police on 17 if they feel in danger, or offer to go with them to the police station to make a complaint.
• Share reliable sources of information like this website with them so that they understand how abuse works and know their rights.
• Offer to make a written witness statement which will be useful the day they decide to make a complaint. 
• You can report violence online to the police on the dedicated chat service (available in many languages).  
• You can keep a record of the events you witness on the “Mémo de vie” website, a confidential and secure online space.
• Respect their values and cultural or religious choices.
• Let them make their own decisions at their own pace.
• If they don't speak French and you have given them a number or email address of a service that is only available in French, offer to help them contact these services.

Our society is only just beginning to understand domestic abuse. We all have a role to play. 

Certain attitudes need to be avoided to maintain a relationship of trust with the person experiencing abuse and not put their life in danger:

• Do not question the reality of the abuse. Do not minimise the abuse. 
• Do not judge them or tell them what they should do. They are probably feeling confused and need time to decide what to do next. 
• Do not defend their partner or try to make excuses for them.
• Do not make them do anything if they say they don't feel ready.
• Do not give advice on a subject that you are not qualified in. Laws and measures regularly change, and there are international complexities too.
• Do not contact the perpetrator as this could put the victim’s life at risk. The perpetrator is also capable of manipulating you into believing them.
• Do not share information with anyone else without the consent of the person experiencing the abuse, as this could put their life in danger.
• Do not attempt to tell them that their cultural or religious choices are not normal in France.
• Do not interrupt them if they are having difficulty expressing themselves in a language that is not their own.

In some cases, French law requires you to disclose the facts you are aware of:

• It is illegal not to report a crime when it is still possible to prevent it or limit its impact, or if the perpetrator is likely to commit new crimes that could be prevented (applicable law: Article 434-1 of the “Code pénal”).
• It is illegal not to provide assistance to a person in danger, known as “non-assistance à personne en danger” (applicable law: Article 223-6 of the “Code pénal”). 
• It is illegal not to report a crime against a minor or any person that is vulnerable due to their age, illness, disability, physical or mental disability or pregnancy (applicable law: Article 434-3 of the “Code pénal”).